The Presence of the Lord by Pastor Welty

In Exodus 33 Moses "negotiating" with God about leading God's people through the wilderness.  In verse 14, God made this promise. “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”  What a great promise and what a great reality for Moses and for us.  The presence of God is with us just like it was with the people we read in the pages of the Bible.  The key challenge for all of us is being aware of that presence and being attentive to it.

Jacob struggled with that in Genesis 28.  He had an incredible dream that included a celestial staircase going to heaven with angels of God ascending and descending in an escalator type fashion.  The Lord stood above it and offered some incredible words of assurance to Jacob.  Jacob 's response was to say:  “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”  Now before I castigate Jacob, I must evaluate my own level of oblivion. 

Several years ago a particular car company was introducing their new mini-van that had sliding doors on both sides - a novel concept back then.  In order to make their point, they showed a family on vacation.  This family went to a pier near the ocean where, they were told, dolphins would jump out of water right in front of their eyes.  They drove onto the pier and everyone piled out of their mini-van leaving the doors opened.  They stood at the end of the pier waiting for the dolphins, but none came.  Meanwhile behind them the dolphins were diving through their mini-van.  They missed the whole thing.

It is easy to get so locked into our own lives with their busyness and challenging circumstances that we struggle to see how God is present with us.  We can easily be like Jacob or the folks in that mini-van commercial. 

Brennan Manning used to speak about "present risenness" or being aware of the presence of the risen Christ in our lives and in our world.  He said,  "If our faith is alive and luminous, we will be alert to moments, events and occasions when the power of the resurrection is brought to bear on our lives.  Self-absorbed andinattentive, we fail to notice the subtle ways in which Jesus is snagging our attention."     

May God help us to be aware of His presence in our lives,  attentive to how Jesus is "snagging our attention."

This Sunday (October 2) we'll be looking at the Tabernacle in the book of Exodus.  This was a tangible expression of God's presence with His people.  Please read Exodus 40 in preparation for Sunday's message.

The Transition of the Temple by Pastor Welty

Transitions are a normal part of life.   Some are subtle and others are more pronounced and obvious - perhaps even startling.  An example of this is that we who are parents probably can remember bringing our proverbial "bundles of joy" home from the hospital. We fed them, changed their diapers, bathed them and cared for  their every need.  Then one day they were getting on a school bus and headed off to kindergarten.  A couple weeks later, so it seemed, we loaded all their gear into the car and took them off to college.  Now that's a transition.

Our church will be transitioning hopefully in the next few years to a home of our own.  My hope is that we can move into our church building before 2027 because that would be 40 years since our church started, and I'm not inclined to try to match Moses' record for longevity in a temporary facility.  Don't worry, we will likely have moved into the building long before that, so Moses' record will stay intact. 

I have pondered what it will be like for our congregation to transition from a utilitarian cafeteria to an actual sanctuary.  There will be adjustments about how we view the space; how we use the space, and how we care for the space.  There will be adjustments, but they will be good adjustments.   It will be important for us to always keep in mind that the building will be God's and not ours, and that the goal and purpose of the building will be to provide space where people can have an encounter with God.

In God's word we read of a transition in how God's people experience God's presence.  It starts in the Garden of Eden and then moves to the Tabernacle and then the Temple.  In the New Testament God's people experience His presence through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  There is a transition throughout scripture that is interesting to consider.

Starting on September 18 we'll be looking at that transition in how we relate to God with a series of messages entitled "The Transition in the Temple."  Here is a little reveal in the form of a quote from an author named Lehman Strauss:  The most sacred spot is no towering cathedral with stained glass windows, but the believer’s heart where God has come to dwell. 

The Dialysis Chair by Pastor Welty

In 2014, Stephanie and I were presented with two treatment options to deal with her renal failure.  After we chose home hemo-dialysis,  there were some adjustments we had to make to our home to accommodate this new therapy.  We had to create space for the supplies, choose a venue for the treatment, adapt our plumbing, and purchase a new recliner because Stephanie’s treatment would last about 4 hours 5 times a week, so it was important for her to be comfortable.  We purchased an inexpensive “pleather” recliner from Walmart and had it delivered.  It had to have an impervious surface due to the nature of the treatment.   

After Stephanie passed away, the dialysis equipment and supplies were quickly removed, and I even retrofitted the plumbing in my bathroom, but  the recliner remained in my bedroom.  It became sort of a catch all in my room.  It held the superfluous pillows that once were carefully placed on our bed each day and the casually removed at night, so we could go to bed.  It also held the “throws” or smaller blankets that Steph liked to have cover her during treatment.  And it held the various items of clothing whose future I was trying to determine: laundry or one more wear.  (Hey, I’m a bachelor now – new laundry rules apply.) 

My daughters would come home and see that the recliner was still in my room and would gently challenge me about it.  Finally on Father’s Day weekend, they got a somewhat firmer with me, asking if I liked the recliner, was attached to it or saw a future for it in my house.  I had to answer “no” to all of their inquiries.  For them the recliner was associated with Stephanie’s illness, and its presence bothered them. 

Out of deference to them I took the chair outside and put it near the curb with a sign that read “FREE”.  Within a couple of hours that recliner found a new home, and my home was free of the last vestige of Stephanie's illness.  It was good to have that chair gone from my house, and I admitted to my daughters that they were right.  They have a greater sensitivity to space and objects than I do.  It surprised me how much better the room felt without that recliner.  It was as if I said my final goodbye to Stephanie’s illness.   

In Ephesians 4:22-24 we read:  You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;  to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  

There was nothing intrinsically bad about the recliner.  It was a necessary part of my caring for Stephanie, but it represented a difficult chapter in my life, and in order for me to enter my new life, I needed to get rid of it.  In our spiritual lives, there are certain things that are detrimental to our growth, and it's important to eliminate them from our lives.  We can all identify what those things are, but as long as we hold on to them, we’ll never be able to move on.   

Hebrews 12:1 instructs us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles”, (so we can) “run with perseverance the race marked out for us”.   I threw off that old recliner, so I could move forward in my healing journey, and it helped.   What in your life do you need to throw off, so you can make progress in your spiritual journey?   It’s a good question to regularly ponder and act on.

"Say It Ain't So" by Pastor Welty

In Matthew 16, Jesus explained to his disciples about what was ahead for them.   He explained that he would go to Jerusalem, suffer many things, be killed and three days later be raised to life.  That is a lot to swallow, and Peter refused to swallow it.  Peter actually rebuked Jesus saying:  “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” 

When Peter heard Jesus' ominous words, he was like the legendary little boy who heard that Joe Jackson admitted that he took bribes to throw the 1919 World Series and pleaded,  "Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so".  Peter didn't plead "Say it ain't so Jesus", but rather declared, "Never, this won't happen".   At that, Jesus said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” 

Jesus' strong reaction makes me wonder if Peter's words presented a temptation to him like the temptations that Satan had presented in the wilderness.   We know from the Garden of Gethsemane that Jesus grappled with submitting to the cross but finally surrendered.  Out of desperation, Peter's words, while strong, were likely a plea to Jesus to somehow avoid the cross.  After all he and his friends were enjoying following Jesus, hearing him teach, seeing him touch people's lives and work miracles.  These men had probably never felt more alive than when they were with Jesus.  When Jesus said it was going to end, Peter reacted strongly, and Jesus responded to Peter's reaction with equal strength, indicating that the way of the cross was the path He had to follow, and perhaps Peter's pronouncement was seen as a temptation to avoid the cross. 

Sometimes when we are confronted with a difficulty which we know God could alleviate, we want to assert our will in the situation like Peter did, but we may be missing God's will in the big picture.  It's good for us to express our desire to God, our wish that he would intervene, but we must also acknowledge His sovereignty and that His ways are clearly beyond our ways. 

When Stephanie first got sick in 2009, I began to object strenuously to what was happening to my wife, in my daily prayers, and as time passed and the medical complications mounted, I continued to pray daily for every problem.  Early on the Lord brought the story from Luke 18 to mind about the persistent widow.  Jesus told the story to show his disciples "that they should always pray and not give up."  So I followed that leading and every day would plead for God to heal her. 

After Stephanie passed away, a friend of mine asked me an interesting question.  He asked, "In the time that Stephanie was sick, did you ever sense that God promised to heal her?"  I realized that the answer to that was "no".   A few weeks before Stephanie passed away I sensed a prompting from God.  Like Elijah in 1Kings 19, I didn't hear God in the wind, earthquake or fire of a sensational display of His power in healing of Stephanie; rather, I heard His voice in the whisper, which told me to stop praying about her specific illnesses, but rather to pray that He would heal her.  That's what I did, and that's what God did.  As much as I wanted to assert my will and have my wife back, God has blessed me with His assurance. Please don't think that I'm under the illusion that I could have somehow manipulated God into allowing Stephanie to live, but I could have been more resistant to His perfect will.  I know that Stephanie's death was her ultimate healing, and I am learning to accept that although I miss her terribly.

Peter was troubled by Jesus' words and wanted to force his will on Jesus.  I can understand that, but I realize that I would have been interfering with what God was doing in Stephanie's life.  Now as I'm approaching the first anniversary of her death, I affirm my belief that God's will was done in her life, and that she is now completely whole. But at times when I come home to a house that was once filled with the life, love and many interests of Stephanie, but is now empty, I still want to say, "Say it ain't so Jesus, say it ain't so." 

“The Cracked Bead “ as related by Jim Welty

At the end of May, I had a serendipitous encounter with a couple who knew Stephanie, but  had never met me.   They had purchased jewelry from her and expressed their appreciation not only for her creativity but also for the message of “The Cracked Bead” which was the name of her jewelry business.  At one point during the conversation the wife asked if Stephanie’s story was written down somewhere, and I realized that I didn’t know.  I looked through the files on our computer and found remnants of her business but not the story.  Eventually I worked up the courage to look through some of her papers  and found some notes about “The Cracked Bead”, so I decided to type it and share it with you.  Parts of what I discovered were in narrative which I will present as I found them, but parts were in outline form, so I will cautiously elaborate to keep the narrative flow going.  So here is the story of Stephanie Welty’s , “The Cracked Bead”. 

As a little girl I already loved jewelry.  I made rings and bracelets out of the small colorful wires inside telephone cords.  I dreamed of having a real birthstone ring and when I turned ten, my grandparents gave me a smoky topaz in a heart box.  Then came the day I looked forward to, receiving that most precious piece of jewelry – a flawless engagement ring.  But it wasn’t flawless.  The jeweler had been dishonest.  It was so upsetting to us that we returned it and had a new one made.  We wanted the symbol of our new life to be perfect and flawless, without blemish or defect – it needed to match our ideal of our new life.  We had a lot to learn.

One year while on vacation, my daughter Emma and I went into a bead store in Damriscotta, Maine called “Aboca Beads”.  The store was breathtaking, a visual Eden – thousands of beads arranged by color families in hundreds of small round tins.  I found myself saying: “Emma look at this”, and “I don’t know where to look”, over and over again.  I was so over-stimulated that I left the store without purchasing anything.  But the beads and their possibilities had captured my imagination, so I decided to try it out.

As Jim would say, “let the beadings begin”.  I learned as much as I could about beading.  I bought magazines and books, purchased tools, design boards, little round stackable containers and of course, beads.  I was thoroughly immersed in the bead world and was having a grand time. 

One afternoon I had once again taken up residence at our kitchen table in front of our large multi-paned window.  The natural light provided a great environment for choosing colors.   I like the idea of a completely tone on tone necklace, and I was “designing” on my board using clear beads.

I strung several clear beads in a row and then a cracked bead and then more clear beads.  I liked the pattern I was creating.  As I admired my work, my eye was drawn to the cracked bead.  “Looked how the cracked bead reflects the light”, I thought.  Then my mind took off, and I realized thatI am a cracked bead.

How did the bead get cracked?  I remember my friend Linda telling me that when she was a child, she and her siblings would put marbles in a frying pan on the stove, turn on the heat, and eventually the marbles would crack.  Stress and heat cause beads to crack. 

My life was already cracked and fractured due to my childhood and some traumatic experiences and negative messages that were communicated to me by my parents.  The extremes of my childhood created stress: the extremes of wanting to give my life to God and love him with all my heart but being terrified of his arbitrariness, the extremes of being told that I was made in God’s image but practically speaking I sensed that as a girl I was seen as less valuable than men, the extremes of wanting to reach my world for Jesus but not being allowed to participate in my world.  I kept thinking that it was me who just wasn’t getting it right, and so I must try harder.  The more I tried the more helpless I felt.  I longed for the childhood of others around me.   As a little girl I spent years yearning for the perfect, flawless childhood and rehearsing the “if onlys”.  I thought of myself as Jo from “Little Women”.  “My life is hopelessly flawed”.

What are the characteristics of the cracked bead?  They are whole on the outside and cracked on the inside.  I worked hard to create a whole life for my family and me.  I desperately wanted to feel normal.  I didn’t want to lose my individuality, but I didn’t want to be thought of a weird.   I wanted to throw everyone off the trail that the truth was that I felt like a second class citizen.  I was going to behave my way to change.  I didn’t want to let God down by showing that somehow his love and grace weren’t covering everything for me.    Appearances became more important than reality. 

On the inside, however, I was fractured.  I struggled with pain, depression and sadness.     I couldn’t understand why I knew God’s love but couldn’t feel it.  I couldn’t understand why phrases like “being used by God” or “created for His pleasure” made me angry.  I couldn’t understand why no matter how much I did for God, I couldn’t feel His delight.   Then 2001 came and brought panic attacks, fear, anxiety and sadness.  I didn’t sleep for months.  I didn’t think I would live through that summer.  I had to get help.

Cracked beads are also transparent, so I realized that I had to get honest.    I had to start telling the truth: the truth about my family, the truth about my definitions the truth about my view of God.  I had to put everything on the line and tell the truth.  But Jesus said in John 8:32:  “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  

Finally cracked beads are reflective.  As I have stopped trying to be perfect and flawless and have become more honest about my fractures, others feel free to share their fractures with me.  “You’re broken?  So am I”   I have openly told the story of my healing journey and what my Heavenly Father is doing in my life with many women, believers and non-believers alike.  .  God is redeeming the brokenness and allowing it to catch His light.  Paul said it this way:  “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”  (2 Corinthians 3:18)  

The beads that I used for my jewelry making taught me a lot about myself.  Ultimately they taught me to embrace the cracks.

A closing comment from Jim:

Writing these words was a good but difficult exercise.  It was good in that I was reminded of the wonderfully creative, gifted and talented woman that I had the privilege of being married to for nearly thirty-five years.  She was truly a cracked bead who strove to allow the light of God’s grace to shine through the flaws in her life that were inflicted by living in our fallen world.  Her awareness and observations of the wonder around her humbled me because I am often a man on a mission who can miss the beauty right in front of me.   She often made fun of me using the lyrics from a song of our youth, “Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride”.  Meanwhile she was taking in everything.  She marveled at the world around her.  

This process was difficult as I could hear her saying the things that I wrote.  I typed the words from her beautiful handwriting and remembered all the times she used that beautiful handwriting to communicate her love and support to me.   

This experience taught be something valuable about the importance of community.  The morning after I typed this up, I was spending my morning time in reading, reflection and prayer, and I came across these words from Kent Ira Groff.  He said, “A life-giving church is one where human brokenness is lifted up like bread and wine to be held, and touched, and blessed – to heal the world.”  Stephanie gave us all the gift of honesty about her brokenness and by that hopefully brought healing.